Leaving Cloud 9 Read online

  PRAISE FOR LEAVING CLOUD 9

  “At a time when deaths of despair are so common that they are driving down American life expectancy, millions of hurting Americans need hope. There are wounds that public policy can’t heal, but nothing is beyond the reach of God’s grace. Leaving Cloud 9 tells a story of redemption that is a tonic for troubled hearts and a beacon in troubled times.”

  —David French, National Review

  “For anyone who has compared a broken life to a perfect ideal, this book will help tear down old patterns of thinking and build up new ones. This is a book of grace and gravity, of hurt unfolding into hope.”

  —Russell Moore, president, Ethics and Religious Liberty Commission of the Southern Baptist Convention

  “Leaving Cloud 9 will help you rethink your relationships and reexamine yourself. You will come out on the other end with greater wisdom, health, and faith than you had before.”

  —Michael Wear, author of Reclaiming Hope: Lessons Learned in the Obama White House About the Future of Faith in America

  “Full of hard-learned but much-needed stories and lessons about handling adversity, perseverance through difficult times, and the complicated, contradictory nature of hearts and minds. Anyone who needs a spiritual lift or a reminder of how people are capable of extraordinary changes for the better should read this book.”

  —Jim Geraghty, National Review

  “This book is such encouragement in a world slouching toward despair. Thanks be to God for this ongoing resurrection story and to the Sylvesters for having the courage to share it.”

  —Kathryn Jean Lopez, senior fellow, National Review Institute; editor-at-large, National Review

  “In Leaving Cloud 9, Ericka Andersen brilliantly educates and inspires. Her account of Rick’s redemption story showcases the power God provides to heal and forgive through any circumstance. Once I picked it up, I couldn’t put it down.”

  —Rev. John Freed, Waterline Church

  “A thoroughly honest, wince-inducing, love-instigated account, unvarnished, of how the sorrows relentlessly inflicted on a boy, then carried into manhood, can give way.”

  —Jack Fowler, National Review

  “An education of the hard facts about the effects of neglect and abuse, and the miraculous healing of God’s unconditional love. Ericka’s book should be mandatory reading for those who professionally affect the lives of children in need or adults who were those children.”

  —Peggy Welch, former Indiana State Representative

  “A book you won’t want to put down . . . In a confusing world in search of good news, Ericka Andersen gives us hope with a book about family, religion, and love.”

  —Robert Bluey, The Heritage Foundation

  © 2018 Ericka Sylvester

  All rights reserved. No portion of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means—electronic, mechanical, photocopy, recording, scanning, or other—except for brief quotations in critical reviews or articles, without the prior written permission of the publisher.

  Published in Nashville, Tennessee, by Nelson Books, an imprint of Thomas Nelson. Nelson Books and Thomas Nelson are registered trademarks of HarperCollins Christian Publishing, Inc.

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  Unless otherwise noted, Scripture quotations are taken from the ESV® Bible (The Holy Bible, English Standard Version®), copyright © 2001 by Crossway, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

  Scripture quotations marked NIV are taken from the Holy Bible, New International Version®, NIV®. Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.™ Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved worldwide. www.zondervan.com. The “NIV”and “New International Version” are trademarks registered in the United States Patent and Trademark Office by Biblica, Inc.™

  Scripture quotations marked NLT are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation. © 1996, 2004, 2007, 2013 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.

  Scripture quotations marked KJV are taken from the King James Version, which is in the public domain.

  Epub Edition May 2018 9781400208289

  ISBN 978-1-4002-0827-2 (HC)

  Library of Congress Control Number: 2018932502

  Printed in the United States of America

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  Information about External Hyperlinks in this eBook

  Please note that footnotes in this ebook may contain hyperlinks to external websites as part of bibliographic citations. These hyperlinks have not been activated by the publisher, who cannot verify the accuracy of these links beyond the date of publication.

  This book is dedicated to my grandmother, Carole

  Allen, who showed us how to love like Jesus does.

  CONTENTS

  FOREWORD

  PROLOGUE: PRESENT DAY CHAPTER 1 IN THE BEGINNING

  CHAPTER 2 FROM WHERE SHE CAME

  CHAPTER 3 THE FATHER HE NEVER KNEW

  CHAPTER 4 PICTURES

  CHAPTER 5 STARVING FOR RELATIONSHIP

  CHAPTER 6 STEVEN

  CHAPTER 7 AURORA, COLORADO

  CHAPTER 8 KINSHIP CARE

  CHAPTER 9 BATTLE BUDDIES

  CHAPTER 10 PRIVILEGED?

  CHAPTER 11 SOLDIER DREAMS

  CHAPTER 12 THE VILLAIN

  CHAPTER 13 WHEN SHE WAS ALONE

  CHAPTER 14 TONY RETURNS

  CHAPTER 15 JAMES

  CHAPTER 16 MAN BOOBS

  CHAPTER 17 AGE TWELVE

  CHAPTER 18 THE MOLDING OF A MAN

  CHAPTER 19 LONELY

  CHAPTER 20 IN THE ARMY NOW

  CHAPTER 21 GIVING UP ON GOD

  CHAPTER 22 COLLEGE

  CHAPTER 23 SHREDDED

  CHAPTER 24 FLIGHT SCHOOL

  CHAPTER 25 SABRINA

  CHAPTER 26 PTSD

  CHAPTER 27 A MARRIAGE UNRAVELS

  CHAPTER 28 ANXIETY ATTACK

  CHAPTER 29 THE DEFINING DIAGNOSIS

  CHAPTER 30 SEATTLE TO DC

  CHAPTER 31 ALMOST THERE

  CHAPTER 32 A ROUGH START

  CHAPTER 33 LIVING LIFE

  CHAPTER 34 THEY MEET AGAIN

  CHAPTER 35 MEETING SYLVIA

  CHAPTER 36 LOOKING AT LIFE AHEAD

  CHAPTER 37 JACOB JAMES SYLVESTER

  CHAPTER 38 NEWBORN LIFE

  CHAPTER 39 THE FAMILY HE NEVER KNEW

  CHAPTER 40 HOW HE GOT HERE

  ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

  NOTES

  ABOUT THE AUTHOR

  FOREWORD

  I have always known God was in the redemption business, but reading about the miraculous healing in Rick Sylvester’s life confirmed it once more. Ericka Andersen’s graceful deep dive into her husband’s traumatic life story is a heartbreaking account but reveals the hand of God watching over us in even the darkest of times.

  When I started pa
storing National Community Church two decades ago, I had no idea the way God would use this ministry to impact the lives of the most broken among us. Ericka and Rick attended NCC for a number of years when they lived in Washington, DC, but I didn’t know that our church was the first church Rick had set foot in for over a decade—or that my book The Circle Maker would be part of his redemption story. I’m incredibly grateful, but not surprised, because God works in strange and mysterious ways!

  While Rick’s life was shaped by a multitude of painful factors as a child—from his father’s abandonment to his mother’s addictions—Ericka writes of that cast of characters through a graceful lens, never letting readers forget that every person is a beloved child of God. And no one is without hope if they build their lives on the foundation of Jesus Christ.

  The book’s focus on the power of prayer is compelling, and I know from personal experience, that it’s the key to transformation. Prayer was the catalyst in Rick’s life, even in the midst of his struggles. As he dealt with depression, anxiety, and other disturbing effects from his childhood, he discovered only one thing that felt like solid ground—and that was faith. It took faith to continue going back to prayer, time and again, even as he stumbled. This book showcases how God is fighting for us, even when we don’t realize it—and that He honors bold prayers.

  Rick’s persistence and faith led him to the transformational healing that truly broke the chains of his past. This book so beautifully demonstrates the tangible presence of God as our Father, even when our earthly parents fail us. It shows the power of how God uses individuals to work in the lives of their loved ones. And it leaves no doubt as to the signs of the Father weaving together a life story in which His overwhelming love would prevail.

  I believe everyone can benefit from reading this book, a story that reveals God’s ability to restore, renew, and replenish—not to mention fulfill one’s wildest dreams. Rick’s dreams were simple: happiness, love, family. He’s living them out each day by the grace of God, and that’s a hope everyone can believe in.

  Mark Batterson

  New York Times bestselling author of

  The Circle Maker

  Lead Pastor of National Community Church

  PROLOGUE

  PRESENT DAY

  My husband, Rick, is chasing our eighteen-month-old around the staircase in our recently purchased two-story house in the suburbs of Indianapolis. I’m upstairs working but keep hearing incessant bursts of laughter from our son, who squeals in delight every time his dad rounds another corner to “surprise” him—even though he knows perfectly well that his dad has been there all along.

  Rick is also cracking up with every belly laugh Jacob lets out. Baby laughs—aren’t they the quintessential expression of joy? The worst day of your life could be improved by a hearty belly laugh from a baby who doesn’t know any better. A baby the harshness of the world’s edges haven’t yet cornered, for whom everything can be made better with hugs and warm milk—or Puffs cereal and a cartoon on the iPad.

  If there were any baby pictures to compare, no doubt people would mistake our son and Rick for twins. The golden-blond hair, the lake-blue eyes, the round grin, the face as friendly and sweet as a baby koala’s. They are both excessively cute, one of those father-son pairs young moms gush over when the two are grocery shopping together or playing at the park.

  Jacob is the smiliest of all toddlers, quick to practice his waving skills—a tiny wrist flipping up and down and up and down—and winces away in faux embarrassment when a delighted stranger waves back with a winking reply. He ducks his head into a parental shoulder for a moment before whipping back around to charm his new friends at Walmart or Target. I am biased, of course, but I have a hunch this one rates high on the universal scale of adorableness.

  And Rick—Rick is the wonderful costar of our little world. A loving husband, a fantastic father, a good provider, and a lot of fun. If you met him at the park or at church, you would probably never guess that his own start in life was completely different from that of our well-loved, carefully nurtured one. He is determined to ensure Jacob’s childhood is the opposite of his own. By all accounts, my husband should be one of the lost ones, a child of America’s forgotten underbelly, destined to inflict the pain and dysfunction of his upbringing onto the next generation. The generational curse ended with him, though. Only by God’s grace is he breaking that cycle. Only by grace and his own resilience is he the man I’m raising my children with.

  Jacob and Rick continue their chasing game for another twenty minutes, racing around on the carpet, sliding back onto the fake hardwood in the kitchen with an occasional pause to cry due to a fall from the travails of learning to walk. I’m thinking to myself, He should take off Jacob’s socks so he won’t slip so easily. I’m also thinking what a miracle it is in so many ways that the scene just one flight of stairs down from me is actually happening.

  This simple life of a home, a decent job, a good marriage, and a baby son is not flashy or notable, really. But it’s the luxury of the ordinary that makes this miracle so important to notice, because for people like Rick—and there are many in this world—ordinary is a novel concept. Peace, contentment, a white picket fence—it’s hardly a reality he ever thought would exist for him.

  A son he thought he’d never have, a wife whose love he doesn’t think he deserves, a well-paying job that he doesn’t necessarily enjoy but deeply appreciates. The traumatic scenes from an abused and neglected childhood remain stored behind the gates of his memory. They are locked in their own little boxes, each with individual keys that can turn when he least expects it.

  The smell of homemade fried chicken, flipping through a rack of used clothing, a sip of Jack Daniel’s—the little things that jog a memory and bring out pain you forgot existed are always out there. There are things he needs to stay away from—like the whiskey. There are things he may never feel fully free from—like his mom while she’s still alive or the nightmares that still shake him awake so often.

  But, for the most part, life is good for Rick—for all of us. Ours is the luxury of the ordinary, free from the drama of drunken mothers, soul-crushing depression, or family drama that threatens to tear people apart and is intent on ripping out the stitches of wounds still healing. We don’t have all that. And what we do have is precious to us. We have each other. We have our son. We have our extended families. We have love. And best of all, we have Christ. To us those baby-boy giggles are something to capture forever, bottle up, and hold on to as reminders of the grace, blessing, mercy, and miracles that have enveloped our lives.

  Those miracles are not about me much at all—as I am one of the lucky souls born to wonderful parents, growing up with plenty of love and a million more things. But Rick’s life was the opposite of mine. He’s the one who beat the statistics. The one who was supposed to fail. The one whose whole life is a miracle.

  All the reports predict that kids like him will end up in prison. They’ll be angry, unhappy alcoholics or addicts—losers. And yet Rick is not any of those things. His story showcases the resilience of the human spirit and the power of Jesus, which can transform our lives if we open our hearts, homes, and minds to His promises.

  In the early days of our marriage, when someone used to say or do something offensive to me, Rick would be quick to launch into a tirade of over-the-top defense, calling the accuser a cruel name and relinquishing zero amounts of grace or understanding. These days, that doesn’t happen very often, and for both of us it’s an incredible relief to live in freedom from the tyranny of anger that once controlled him. But the reality is, while growing up, he was never granted grace, nor did he ever have anyone to stand up for him. His mom taught him that people weren’t to be trusted and that anyone who spoke an ill or harshly toned word against you wasn’t worth the dirt under your feet. Anyone driving too close or looking at you the wrong way was equally offensive.

  And Rick’s mom constantly referred to people she disliked in awful terms you’
d never want spoken in front of a little kid. It was common language in his community. While that kind of talk sounds like nails on a chalkboard to me, it’s pretty normal stuff to a guy who grew up in a drug-filled trailer park. When Rick talked that way in the past, I couldn’t believe I was with someone who would say such things. But talk to someone who grew up in Rick’s neighborhood, and they won’t bat an eye. To them, that’s just how you deal with people.

  As a kid, Rick feared change. To him it meant uncertainty. It meant moving to his grandma’s house again—or moving back in with his mom and whoever the father figure of the month was. It meant moving to Colorado or back to Arizona, the two states where he spent most of his early life. It meant never knowing what he would find when the next change occurred. It meant never feeling safe or secure or trusting what anyone said.

  Not surprisingly, Rick hasn’t been overly fond of change as an adult either. And having a child was the biggest change of all. It so overwhelmed Rick at first that he wasn’t sure he could handle it. His love was so intense that it scared him into a mental panic at times. His emotions can be like a high-powered electrical wire. When stressed, he’s been prone to act out—dramatically, powerfully—and disrupt other parts of life. And having a newborn in the house is the very definition of stress. Sleep, work, marriage, friendship, family—it was all turned upside down when Jacob was born.

  Of course that’s the case for any first child, but for Rick the effect was tenfold. Being a dad was much harder than he expected—especially the emotional and mental aspects. But the knowledge that his own dad walked out on him and his mom couldn’t stay off drugs or alcohol steeled his determination. They may have let him down, but he was going to be the best parent he could be, no excuses.

  And he is. In the first year of Jacob’s life, the stress of just plain old living life maxed him out. He couldn’t fathom ever being able to handle more than one child—but things have changed since then.